I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
