would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
