I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
