hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
