The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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