The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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