I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
two words...techno handjob
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
