i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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