After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
