I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
