Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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