Dual....:-)
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
