What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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