hell yes lets make some ravioli
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
