Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
