bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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