Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
