Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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