I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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