I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
