The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
