I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My first STD was from a foam party
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
