She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
