I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish I could teleport
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
