READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
love makes seman taste better
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
