yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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