They should really pass out barf bags in church
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
