Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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