she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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