Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
