he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
