It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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