It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's blow job season.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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