I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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