You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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