Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
