It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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