There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
