So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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