I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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