When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
