one two three fourrrrnication!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
