Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
