dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
