Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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