the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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