I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
