Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's the barista slut.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
