I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
