thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
